Est. 2016  ·  thecoffeejesus.com

The Menu

Everything on offer. Order what fits.

☕ ✦ ☕

❧ single origin ❧
One-on-one service
The Chat house special $25
  • Up to 60 minutes, one-on-one, video call
  • AI, music, writing, startups, life, the future
  • Wednesdays only, 6 slots per week
  • Bring whatever's on your mind

You'll leave with clarity, a direction, or at least a cleaner question.

Book a slot →
❧ the tasting ❧
App feedback & strategy
  • You built something — now get people to use it, love it, and come back
  • Choose honest first impressions or a full written audit
  • Screenshots, product-market fit notes, actionable strategy

Pick your depth — the gut check is free, the audit goes all the way.

The Gut Check Free
  • Five minutes with your product in my hands
  • First impression, immediate friction, gut reaction
  • No write-up, no deliverable, subject to availability

Just the raw truth while I have the time.

Request a gut check →
The Feedback Audit $50
  • Up to one hour through every page or screen
  • Google Doc delivered: screenshots, observations, recommendations
  • User adoption angles, conversion friction, product-market fit signals
  • You keep it forever

Honest, specific, and actionable.

Book the audit →
The Full Day $350 $299 limited
  • A full day with your app across multiple sessions
  • Real usage in different contexts and states of mind
  • Comprehensive write-up: what worked, what broke, what made me stay
  • Google Doc delivered

Honest. Thorough. Yours.

Book the full day →
Please read: Everything I deliver is personal opinion based on my experience as a builder and user. I am an individual, not a professional consultant, lawyer, or business advisor. Nothing I say constitutes legal, financial, or professional advice. Please consult the relevant licensed professionals before making major decisions. I will keep your project confidential and will not share it without your permission. I will not sign an NDA.
❧ reserve blend ❧
Ongoing engagement
Monthly Retainer Custom
  • Reserved, recurring time on your project
  • Free fit call first — no charge, no pressure
  • Scope and rate in writing before you pay a cent
  • Cancel anytime, fair both directions

If it's a match, we put it in writing and build something real together.

Apply for a fit call →
❧ wholesale & trade ❧
For brands & partners
Brand Partnership Free discovery call
  • Value-aligned sponsorships for brands reaching builders and creators
  • No booking fee, no commitment to the first conversation
  • Reply within 24–48 hours

We talk first and only move forward if it's genuinely good for your audience.

Start a conversation →
❧ the roastery ❧
Coffee brands & white label
Coffee Brand Deals Inquiry
  • Farms, roasters, and coffee brands welcome
  • Ship your beans and your story — I brew it and feature your brand
  • Honest review, full disclosure on all gifted products
  • Audience of builders and creators who care about craft

Value-aligned only, honest always.

Coffee brands, this way →
White Label Your Coffee Brand Let's talk
  • Launch your own branded coffee without building a supply chain
  • Existing supplier relationship for private label production
  • Early-stage and selective — limited availability

If you want your own coffee brand without starting from scratch, reach out.

Reach out about white label →
❧ on the house ❧
Free to you
Build Your Brand Free
  • A guide to building a personal brand that doesn't drain you
  • No download, no email, no sign-up required
  • Read it right in your browser

You don't need to sell your soul. You need to share it.

Read the guide →
The Newsletter Free
  • Field notes on AI, brand-building, and content
  • Sent when the work warrants it, not on a schedule
  • Unsubscribe anytime, no hard feelings

No filler. No schedule. Just signal when it matters.

Subscribe on Substack →
❧ from the shelf ❧
Reading material
Surviving the Singularity Book
  • A field guide for staying agentic as AI rewrites work and money
  • Practical and honest, written for humans
  • survivingthesingularity.com

Stay in the driver's seat as everything changes.

Get the book →

Prices are subject to change  ·  All bookings are subject to availability  ·  By booking you agree to the Terms of Service

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