Christopher Tavolazzi. Also answers to Coffee Jesus.
I make things and publish what happens, including the parts that don't work.
Right now that's a startup trying to grow food with robots, a book that took two years, an album, and a photo series. Some of it is going well. Some of it is not, and I write about that part too.
- Two decades in marketing
- Journalism degree
- Fortune 500 campaigns
- Former barista
- Musician and artist
What I'm actually working on
Four things, all public, all at different stages of finished.
🌱 Johnny Autoseed
Buy land. Put robots on it. See if it works. Publish the numbers either way.
johnnyautoseed.com →📖 Surviving the Singularity
Two years, 18 chapters, 40,000 words. A field guide for staying agentic while AI rewrites work.
Read about the book →📷 Textures
A photo series. Forty-five frames of things worn in, cracked open, and still holding.
See the series →✍️ Notes from the workshop
Build notes, half-formed ideas, and the thinking behind the book. Published before it's finished.
Read the blog →Most personal branding advice is costume instructions
Pick your colors. Nail your niche. Develop your voice. All of it sits downstream of the question almost nobody asks: who are you when nobody's watching, and is that person worth following?
A real brand is just a person being consistently honest at scale. That's it. That's the whole thing.
That's the thing I care most about, and it's the closest thing I have to a position. If you want the long version, it's the essay I'd point you to first.
Where I stand
I am a professional communicator. I am also still doing it for myself, in public, where you can watch it go well and watch it go badly. A startup, a book, music, code, photos. I have posted things that landed and things that disappeared. I have sent the cold message and sat with the silence afterward.
I am straightforward about what I do not know. If your question needs a lawyer, an accountant or a therapist, I will say so and help you find one.
I'm actively looking for aligned people to work with
If something here lines up with what you're building, say so. Tell me what you're working on and what's in the way. I read every message myself, and if I'm the wrong person I'll try to point you at the right one.